A Druid Ritual for Golf
Have you ever been to a Druid ritual? Me neither.
But I’ve always wanted to have one at Deer Run. Picture this – at midnight, with bag pipes playing and people in hooded robes … we would repeat some incantations as we threw some hated piece of golf equipment into the fire.
How satisfying would that be?
I’ve got a 3-wood that deserves a fiery death. I bet you’ve got some clubs that you’d love to sacrifice to the golf gods. How about an unlucky shirt? Or an evil pair of golf shoes?
But we couldn’t have too many people – just wouldn’t work. Yet how would we decide who to invite? Should we have a tournament to decide? That’s seems unfair … the winners probably wouldn’t have as many golf demons to deal with. Also, how many items could you sacrifice? Couldn’t be more than one per person … otherwise this ceremony would never end before daylight.
It had better end before daylight – it wouldn’t be good to have early morning golfers witnessing the ritual. Can you imagine the rumors it would start? After awhile, people would be swearing that they saw us sacrificing a goat. You know what I’m saying.
Maybe that’s why we’ve never done it.
GM and Head Golf Professional