Having bad manners is really just being disrespectful.
Nitpicking is disrespectful. The dictionary defines nitpicking as “ Looking for small or unimportant errors or faults, in order to criticize unnecessarily”.
Nitpicking is bad manners.
Nitpickers like to pretend that they’re being helpful … that they’re pointing out what needs to be done. They’re the people who look at our beautiful flower gardens and point out a weed.
It’s a power play. And mean-spirited. It’s an attack – and often in a passive-aggressive form. Then when you defend yourself … they act like you’re the bad guy.
There’s the Letter of the Law … and the Spirit of the Law. It applies to the Rules of Golf – not just to our legal system. Some people love the Rules of Golf as a weapon in their arsenal of nitpicking.
Of course there are reasonable reasons to complain. But complaining is seldom charming. It usually brings a damper to the situation … and it better be a big deal to be worth it.
I love it when nitpickers start their harangue with “You know I love you, but” … then they start the barrage. They feel they now have a license to be hyper critical and offensive.
Or the “I tell it like it is” mentality. They aren’t asked for advice, but they can’t wait to tell people what isn’t perfect.
And of course we all have our nitpicking moments. But it’s not something to be proud of.
Nitpicking is just another form of insulting behavior. The dictionary defines insulting as “disrespectful or scornfully abusive”.
Ironically, nitpickers don’t think of themselves as having bad manners. They do.
GM and Head Golf Professional